Kellogg’s have inadvertently named their latest line of breakfast treats after a fictional, sexually-transmitted infection known as “blue waffle”.
Ah, Kellogg’s. The masterminds behind Coco Pops, LCMs, and those mini cereal packs that get whipped out at every camping trip. As the gatekeepers to some of our most beloved childhood treats, you would think that they’d have it pretty safe in the old meme department. Think again son, because the cereal kings have just pulled the biggest “Dick” of them all. Meet Kellogg’s Mermaid Blue Waffle line.
Although appearing harmless on the surface (potential damages to your health not included), the brand’s new line of waffles are gaining a fair amount of attention after hitting US and UK shelves this week. Turns out that the name Mermaid Blue Raspberry Waffles gives a pretty serious nod to a fictional STI that hit the meme circuit nearly a decade ago. There really is nothing that screams tasty breakfast quite like a crusty cooch.
Blue waffle disease first started making headlines in 2010, after a photo of the fake STI began circulating on the internet. Please, I beg of you, don’t try to find it. Graphically depicting a “patient’s” infected, blue-tinted labia, panic quickly began to grow over the newfound disease.
It also didn’t help that New Jersey councilwoman Kathy McBride felt the need to bring the fake disease to the public’s attention. “It’s already claimed 85 lives and there’s a case here in Trenton,” McBride told Trenton City Council back in 2013. “It is a virus that is 10 times greater at this point than the AIDS virus.” Unfortunately for the councilwoman’s reputation, turns out that this deadly disease was just a big internet hoax.
This didn’t stop the news from doing the rounds though. Middle and High School health teachers were reportedly inundated with questions about the disease from students, forcing The Women’s Health Foundation to clear things up.
“There is no disease known as ‘blue waffle disease’ in the medical world,” assistant professor of obstetrics/gynaecology at the University of Chicago Hospital, Dr. Amy Whitaker explained. “There is no disease that causes a blue appearance on the external genitalia. I had never heard of this until you wrote to our section…and asked about it.”
Fast-forward to 2020, when the Kellogg’s marketing team thought that they had cooked up a fresh new idea for their waffle line. To say that this was just an unfortunate coincidence would be an understatement.
Kellogg’s Executive: “We should release a blue waffle.”
Everyone else in that meeting: “We see no problem in this.” pic.twitter.com/gzh3AWzJJq
— Mike Bedard (@TheMikeBedard) August 16, 2020
The internet, doing what the internet does best, has produced some quality reactions to this *choice*. “Does Kellogg’s not have a single millennial or was it one troll who was like ‘hey we should make a blue waffle!’ and no one knew better,” one Twitter user wrote. “I just wanna know why nobody at any point in this process told the boss what blue waffle is,” another adds.
STOP KELLOGG YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING pic.twitter.com/dWM4MnSRxb
– slambidextrous (@BagelTiger) August 17, 2020
— Gordo (@bluesbroken) August 20, 2020
Kellogg’s are yet to speak out about their decisions. When they do, believe me, we’ll have many questions…